In Memory of Liam Christmas Drive

Liam was born on July 14th of 2011.

He spent 90% of his first year in the hospital.

80% of his second year in the hospital.

50% of his third year and so on.

He spent the majority if his time at Valley Children's hospital in Madera, CA.

It's 65.6 miles from our front porch to the hospital.

Takes around an hour and 3 minutes to get there typically,

if you don't hit traffic.

The hospital is basically in the middle of nowhere.

To get to any fast food restaurants or the Target you have to get back onto the freeway.

Nothing is within walking distance.

It's a little over 12 miles to the nearest store (Target) if you need supplies.

I would drive to Target and stock up on foods that didn't have to be refrigerated.

Foods like:

Soups

Cup of Noodles

Peanut butter sandwich supplies

Ravioli

Chips

Crackers

Soda

Bottled ready to drink coffee

Granola bars

All cans had to be pop top and come in a bowl that could be microwaved.

I kept a bowl with me for soups.

These were the foods I lived off of for the majority of 4 years.

If I wanted clean clothes I had 2 options:

1) Have someone from Home bring them up when they come to visit.

2) Go to the nearest laundromat (16.9 miles away) and be gone from Liam for a few hours.

90% of the time when Liam was in the hospital he was vomiting.

Many times he would go through every blanket I packed him within 24 hours.

When a blanket and a treasured stuffed animal are the only things giving your baby enough comfort to sleep for a few minutes or stop crying for a few minutes,

and you have nothing clean left,

you stay can become way more stressful that it really needs to be.

There were a few times when he would have just vomited all over his last clean blanket,

he was in tears and I was close to tears.

I was rocking him when there was a knock on the door.

The door would slowly open and a smiling face popped their head in and said,

"I'll just leave this right here for you".

Then they walked out and closed the door behind them.

I walked over to the counter and found a new soft blanket sitting on the counter.

My jaw dropped.

I picked up that what felt like a treasure worth a million dollars and handed it to Liam.

He almost instantly stopped crying and I was able to rock him back to sleep.

As I watched him sleep,

I cried.

That blanket meant the world to us and we were given it because someone kind had donate a lot of blankets to children's for the kids.

Without that donation we would of had days with no sleep or comfort because it wasn't until 4 days later my husband was able to bring us clean blankets and clothes.

Hospital stays are extremely stressful and made worse when you have to eat junk,

don't have clean clothes are access to a laundromat.

I would pack Liam as many toys as I could but after a few days they would be boring for him.

I would have to ask my husband to bring us new toys every time he came to visit.

Being separated from family is also extremely difficult.

These stays are made a little easier when you have the items that comfort your child and clean clothes for yourself.

I hope that with this Christmas drive in memory of Liam that we will be able to offer that same comfort to these kids who are sick and stuck in a hospital during the holidays.

If we are even able to take these kids minds of being sick for just a few minutes,

than it will be worth it.

We are looking for donations of:

Stuffed animals

Blankets

teethers

books for all ages

toys for all ages

coloring books

crayons

journals

pens

backpacks and tote bags

and much more

Will you help us?

Contact us on our Facebook page Shooting for Liam

Email shootingforliam@yahoo.com

Spreading Awareness at Liberty School Carnival

Last night we had the opportunity to share CDH awareness and child loss awareness with our community at Liberty school's fall carnival. We set up a table with lots of flyers:

*What is CDH?

*What it's like to have a child with CDH.

*Our Christmas drive for Children's hospital.

*Busines cards

*Information on Sent from Heaven

(Child loss)

*Information on Sent from Heaven's drive.

We handed out lots of flyers and business cards. We also got to talk to people about CDH, Liam and Sent from Heaven It was a blessing to be able to share so much awareness. Lots of people had never heard of what CDH was and we were more than happy to explain to them. Lots of kids were interested in learning as well. The older kids took quite an interest in earning what CDH was. I was surprised. Of course we had a huge pumpkin filled with candy for the children who walked by our booth. 

You can go to Sent from Heaven's blog or check out their facebook page. My friend Amanda Lamb and I have been working hard on getting Send from Heaven set up and doing all the legal paperwork to become a nonprofit. We provide specialized care packages to parents when they lose a child. Also our blog has online resources and we are adding more all the time.

Child Loss Awareness Month

October is child loss awareness month.

We would like to take this month to remember those CDHers who grew wings.

If you would like to share your story,

blog or facebook page,

please contact us so we can add you.

If you have any advice for those whose friend or family lost a child,

please message us.

Remembering all the CDHers that grew wings and the families who lost them.

facebook.com/shootingforliam

A few weeks ago a friend approached with a idea to start a nonprofit.

This nonprofit is to give care packages to parents when they lose a child.

We are also working on our blog to share other peoples stories of loss,

as well as other resources.

If you would like your story posted on our Sent from Heaven blog as well let us know.

Sent from Heaven is for all loss,

not just from CDH.

Also check out Sent from Heaven's facebook page.

Kimberlee

Last week,

I picked up this donation of toys from my friend Diana.

Diana donated this to our care packages in memory of her daughter,

Kimberlee.

Kimberlee was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia

on November 8th of 2009.

Kimberlee was 6 months pregnant at the time.

She had chemo twice before she gave birth to a healthy baby.

Kimberlee underwent a bone marrow transplant on May 25th 2010.

On August 31st 2010,

they were told that the Leukemia had returned,

with a vengeance.

The doctors said there was nothing more they could do,

and Kimberlee was given just 6 months left to live.

So they returned home to live out what time she had left.

On September 27th 2010,

Kimberlee lost her fight against Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

Diana donated this precious gift of toys for the kids at Children's Hospital,

in memory of her precious daughter Kimberlee.

Acute Myeloid Leukemia is rare with less than 200,000 US cases per year.

It's a type of cancer of the blood and bone marrow with excess immature white blood cells.

AML progresses rapidly,

with myeloid cells interfering with the production of normal white blood cells,

red blood cells, and platelets.

Learn more about AML by clicking here.

Christmas Drive

This December marks the one year anniversary of when our sweet little lamb became an angel. We are doing a drive in his memory for Valley Children's Hospital.

We want to deliver these packages to the hospital around December 15th and are asking for the following items:

*backpacks or tote bags

*books (for all ages)

*stuffed animals

*blankets (baby-teen)

*small toys

*journals or notebooks

*coloring books or activity books

*crayons, color pencils and pens

*toiletries (NICU parents)

*tethers and baby toys

*baby socks and hats

*on the go snacks (granola bars, protein bars, etc)

These are just some ideas of the kind of things we'd like to include in our packages. We are putting together care packages for newborn to age 19 as well as parents in the NICU. Often times parents are too worried for their babies that they forget to eat themselves or even pack the essentials like a toothbrush or hairbrush. Adult coloring books and puzzle books are a great thing for NICU parents as well because often times there are long stretches of time when they cannot hold their baby so they just sit at their side These items would give them a much needed break as well as relieve some stress. 

We are also having an online Jewelry in Candles party to raise money to purchase items for these care packages. This party will be active until 10/09/2016 and 100% of the commission is going to buying more items for children's hospital. Click here to shop our Jewelry in Candles party

If you'd like to donate items, please contact us on our Facebook page or email us at shootingforliam@yahoo.com

A care package we made for a family who was in the NICU at Children's hospital August 2016.

Our donation to Children's in memory of Liam in April 2016.

Just some of the items we donated in April 2016.

October 2012, our tethers for teethies drive. 

CDH Awareness Video (Godspeed, Sweet Dreams)

Life After Loss

 

 

I'm not sure how others handle the loss of a child.

And I know not every piece of advice is good advice.

But one piece of advice stands out above the rest:

 

"The pain never goes away,

it only gets easier to hide"

 

Its been 17 week and 6 days since my Liam grew wings.

Some days are harder than others,

but every day is hard.

 

I shouldn't of had to say goodbye to my son,

who was only 4 years,

5 months,

and 1 day old.

None of us should ever have to say goodbye to our children.

None of us should have to see our children struggle,

or fight for their right to just live.

 

But we do.

Because of Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia.

 

Sure we know the statistics:

1 in every 2500 liv births are effected by CDH.

Only 50% of babies survive.

Most that do suffer life long medical problems.

 

But statistics are just numbers,

until we have to live them.

 

When we were in NICU with Liam in 2011,

there were 4 CDH babies fighting.

Only 2 of those babies made it out of NICU.

 

Liam fought every day of his short little life.

And even though we knew there was always a chance we could loose him,

we just thought as each year passed we were closer to being out of the woods.

We didn't expect this.

 

CDH doesn't just cause problems with the lungs,

heart,

or intestines.

It messes with the immune system and weakens it.

And when you have a child who is failure to thrive and unable to gain weight,

their immune system is even more weaker.

 

A "simple" cold would land Liam in the hospital and on oxygen.

He fought frequent pneumonia's,

colds,

flu's,

RSV,

until he caught a virus he could no longer fight.

 

He battled this virus for two weeks.

It would seem he got better after 3 days,

then sick gain.

Basically he couldn't fight this off any longer,

and his body gave out.

This virus caused a pulmonary embolism,

which took his life.

 

There hasn't been a day without tears.

Some days I can go out into public and hide my sadness,

my anger.

Other days all I can do is cry.

 

Liam's life came down to numbers and boxes.

How long he lived.

How much it cost to cremate him.

The urn,

a wooden box his ashes forever rest in.

The number of boxes his stuff got packed in.

Boxes and numbers it seemed was all anyone cared about.

Except me.

 

Because no one on this planet knew Liam like I did.

 

And I think all mothers feel like that.

 

So why do I continue to spread awareness when I could just walk away from it all?

Because I can't walk away.

I don't want some other family to be blindsided like we were.

Because someone could learn about CDH from something I do or say,

and that leads them to spread awareness,

and possibly one day someone will invest in research and make a difference.

No it won't effect me since my son is gone.

But one day it'll make a difference for our great great great grandchildren if we're lucky.

 

I don't know what makes anyone feel "better" about their loss.

I don't know how others cope with it.

I just keep putting one foot in front of the other,

moving forward in hopes that one day things will just click,

and one day I'll "feel better".